雲のむこう、約束の場所

       I said I will stop playing basketball outside for 4 month. Coz there are many flecks on my skin …though i think the flecks are not bad...555 after work, when I passed by the basket ring, and it seemed that the sunshine was glareless, so…you can imagine, after 2 hours , all flecks get more dark and feel not comfortable. Sigh here, will not play it outside till Nov.

What do I live for?

Actually I don’t know what I live for,

Just love life…

So i become your "kai xin guo "

So i am in your group.

Love to write my own life,

Love to read your story,

If there is a chance I am in your story,

Please bear with a little role,

Who with a little insolent but not aggressive,

We go along together.

I fear loneliness…

If you need me,

May be just a warm hug,

I will be here.

“If you’re working your way up, one of the best ways to position yourself as a leader in the eyes of others is to speak like a leader. Just because everyone else shies away from giving speeches or relies too much on PowerPoint is no reason for you to. As a matter of fact, it’s a good reason not to. You need to set yourself apart from other people. So whether you are a leader, an aspiring leader, or simply someone who wants to be taken more seriously, you need to speak better and more intelligently than other people. You’ve got to make your thoughts, your convictions, your vision and your character manifest themselves in what you say.” --Christopher Watt

Update on 16/6:

I finally got to mood to write about my life recently. I met some clients in my line of work. almost everything are not kind of going in the way I wanted in 2009. in addition to the busy work at company, I visited some old friends. I am lazy to explain the details, so let me just conclude that I have been blurred recently, lost the steering of my life, consumed by sadness, darkness. But with helps for friends I now regain my vision. Thanks all who called me in this period.

This week is still on-going a very busy week...and today is really a predestine day. Should i have finished my noon customer meeting earlier but in fact of a hot issue, the meeting was dragged longer that it supposed to be; should i have not feeling so hungry and make up decision to eat my supper first before my usual practice of going back home; then probably I can go to GYM. Anyway this is really a small matter, affected only a bit of my mood and time. But i couldn't help wander sometimes this is how our life constructed and interconnected---from every small little things that turns into everything of where we are, who we are and what we are doing now. what a serious topic huh. One lucky thing today might be before the meeting ends, the client is smile.

 

 

 

Why are you striving these days
Why are you trying to earn grace
Why are you crying
Let me lift up your face
Just don't turn away

Why are you looking for love
Why are you still searching as if I'm not enough
To where will you go child
Tell me where will you run
To where will you run

And I'll be by your side
Wherever you fall
In the dead of night
Whenever you call
And please don't fight
These hands that are holding you
My hands are holding you

Look at these hands and my side
They swallowed the grave on that night
When I drank the world's sin
So I could carry you in
And give you life
I want to give you life

(Chorus 2x)

Cause I, I love you
I want you to know
That I, I love you
I'll never let you go

 

If there is someone say to me "Why are you crying, let me lift up your face, just don't turn away"?when i feel sad?

       First: Chinglish isn't about Chinese creativity, even less about being a cultural treasure, it's about a lack of serious working a   ttitude with some Chinese, therefore the common practice of Chinglish mustn't be fostered; my translation

      Second: "a lack of serious working attitude", all granted, many examples prove that point. however, is much more the lifelessness of most so-called standard translations, to challenge the notion of standard-English, who defines it, the intended or unintended ingenuity of some of the translations, the necessity to keep the Chineseness of the original content etc. Languages are inevitably changing, English has proven to be one of the most flexible idioms and Chinglish is already an inseparable part of it.

      Which one will you agree?

雨巷                                A Lane in the Rain

戴望舒                                             Dai Wangshu

 

    撑着油纸伞，独自               Alone holding an oil-paper umbrella,

彷徨在悠长，悠长               along the extending lane

又寂寥的雨巷，                 in the empty street and misty rain.

    我希望逢着                     Hoping to encounter

    一个丁香一样得                 A girl like a bouquet of lilacs

结着愁怨的姑娘。               Gnawed by anxiety and resentment.

 

    她是有                         A girl wears

    丁香一样的颜色，               The color of lilacs,

    丁香一样的芬芳，               The fragrance of lilacs,

    丁香一样的忧愁，               The worries of lilacs,

    在雨中哀怨，                   Feeling melancholy in the rain,

    哀怨又彷徨。                   Plaintive and hesitating.

    她彷徨在这寂寥的雨巷，         She wanders along the solitary lane in the rain,

    撑着油纸伞                     Holding an oil-paper umbrella

    象我一样，                     Just as I do,

    象我一样地                     Just like me,

    默默行着，                     Walking slowly in silence,

    冷漠，凄凉，又惆怅。           Aloof, sand and melancholy.

   

 

   她默默地走近                   Silently she comes closer,

    走近，又投出，                 Closer,giving me

    太息一般的眼光,                A glance like a sigh;

    她飘过                         Then she floats past

    象梦一般地                     Like a dreamk,

    象梦一般地凄婉迷茫。           Dreary and blank like a dream.

   

 

   象梦中飘过                     Like a lilac

    一枝丁香地，                   Floating past in a dream,

    我身旁飘过这女郎；             the girl floats past me;

    她静默地远了，远了，           Silently she goes further and further,

    到了颓圮的篱墙，               To the crumbling wall,

    走尽这雨巷。                   Out of the lane in the rain.

  

 

   在雨的哀曲里，                 In the mournful melody of the rain,

    消了她的颜色，                 Her color has faded,

    散了她的芬芳，                 Her fragrance has disppeared,

    消散了，甚至她的               Vanished into the void;

    太息般的眼光 ，                Even her glance like a sigh,

    丁香般的惆怅。                 Melancholy like lilacs.

 

    撑着油纸伞，独自               Alone holding an oil-paper umbrella,

彷徨在悠长，悠长               along the extending lane

又寂寥的雨巷，                 in the empty street and misty rain.

    我希望飘过                     Hoping to pass

    一个丁香一样得                 A girl like a bouquet of lilacs

    结着愁怨的姑娘。               Gnawed by anxiety and resentment.

 

PS: 27 night there show a film《PRISON BREAK》in the GYM ^_^

 

Chance

           by Xu Zhimo

I am a cloud in the sky,

A chance shadow on the wave of your heart.

Don't be surprised,

Or too elated;

In an instant I shall vanish without trace.

 

We meet on the sea of dark night,

You on your way, I on mine.

Remember if you will,

Or, better still, forget

The light exchanged in this encounter.

 

偶然

        作者: 徐志摩

　

我是天空里的一片云，

偶尔投影在你的波心——

　你不必惊异，

　更无须欢喜——

在转瞬间消灭了踪影。

　

你我相逢在黑夜的海上，

你有你的，我有我的，方向；

　你记得也好，

　最好你忘掉，

在这交会时互放的光亮。

It's funny how that when you actively tell yourself to stop it,

when you constantly remind yourself that it is just a dream,

when you continuously assure yourself that nothing would grow out from it...

- it keeps haunting you.

 

And when you accept that you exist as You.

Nothing more, nothing less.

You began to feel better.

There's not even a need to find out how you're doing.

To know if lately you've heard or thought about you.

 

No other reminiscing attachments but

just purely your existence.

No update for a week again. Let review the past days.

Gone were the day where I would obediently followed my mood to the Suzhou city where i toured in gardens last Sunday myself, I  Just wanna bring back some old memories there...thank the guide took pics for me.  with a fat hope, I went to a design exhibit too. Actually, I have never been to that kind of exhibit and part of the reasons I went there because I am always interesting with it even I don’t know design.

Later the 5 working days, I were pretty busy with work…it’s weekend now, but there are still many work need to deal with. so i had to give up many sports .. basketball, tennis...

And upset with blogspot, there i have an chinese blog but i can not open any blogspot entrance for two weeks.

Running after your dreams can be quite challenging sometimes. Realized that I am quite afraid of dreams. It's great having them but the challenge is being the person that would make the dream come to pass. I have these great dreams of doing great things; leaving a mark on earth in my lifetime, but sometimes my heart palpitates, my hands tremble just at the thought of it.

I tried writing down one of those dreams/ambitions the other day. Just the thought of it, and it felt as if my heart was going to jump off the middle of my thorax. Funny how people are sometimes so afraid of such things.

Maybe because we can't really see with our eyes; our future. That's why we are so afraid. It's like walking in a pitch black forest. Can you imagine groping around and discovering that another hand is groping your hand?... gulp. Shudder. Shudder.

It got me thinking... maybe that's how you leave a mark on earth in your lifetime?

Forever young, I want to be forever young. So I will have enough time to make dreams come true…

Forever Young- (Youth group)

Let's dance in style, let's dance for a while
Heaven can wait we're the only watching the skies
Hoping for the best but expecting the worst
Are you going to drop the bomb or not?
Let us die young or let us live forever
We don't have the power but we never say never
Sitting in a sandpit, life is a short trip
The music's played by the mad men
Can you imagine when this race is wrong
Turn our golden faces into the sun
Praising our leaders we're getting in tune
The music's played by the mad men
Forever young, I want to be forever young
Do you really want to live forever, forever and ever
Some are like water, some are like the heat
Some are a melody and some are the beat
Sooner or later they all will be gone
why don't they stay young
It's so hard to get old without a cause
I don't want to perish like a fading horse
Youth is like diamonds in the sun
And diamonds are forever
So many adventures couldn't happen today
So many songs we forgot to play
So many dreams are swinging out of the blue
We let them come true
Forever young, I want to be forever young
Do you really want to live forever, forever and ever.

 

 

Hmmm  What a weekend that was. . .

Lily It's not my fault if you didn't enjoy, and the fat added to girls who whinged all night on Friday,haha. U really need to get a healthy life.  Congratulations to Mike on winning the Sales department manager position and will go to USA to work soon.  Hopefully a Vice GM will provide in 3 years later.

Friendship is a treasure, and to be honest, I am sorry that we didn’t met for almost 4 years even in same city. I really should keep in touch with everyone. 

Thanks for Mike’s mother who provided great dish for us, and Mike’s little 5 years old girl was awesome with the funny song. 

By the way, thank you for picking me up so far and late.

To think as my mind wonders,To feel as my heart desires.

 

God Will Make A Way 

                        -By  Don Moen  Jan 29, 2009  From “God is good”

 

God will make a way

Where there seems to be no way

He works in ways we cannot see

He will make a way for me

He will be my guide

Hold me closely to His side

With love and strength

For each new day

He will make a way

He will make a way

By a roadway in the wilderness

He'll lead me

And rivers in the desert will I see

 Heaven and earth will fade

But His Word will still remain

He will do something new today

 

    They want to teach me cha-cha...well, there was happend something not happy.....thinking about this, i want to tell you below words, Mai :

Instead of blaming with "Why you cannot do this?", rephrase it to be "Could you do this and this?" instead.

Instead of asking and blaming why you'll never get the expected end results, state the actions or processes that will lead you to the results.

The little things that was never spoken can become a reason to leave a person.

Control your temper. Human tends to be easily angered by the person closest to them when the person did something not in the way that you expects them to do.

If you can strategize at work, you can do so in your relationship too.

Before I forget, I leave some words here to record my heart track. Just like the song named “dancing in the moonlight”..But shyness hold me back there.

Everything about it is how I wanna be, the freedom comes naturally, everything about it resonates happiness. How I with, how I wish…lost souls can swimming in a fish bowl?

Oh girl, I could believe that you fall sleep again in office. No no no. No it was not. dear eyelids, why you were so heavy. so very heavy? Please realize that I am trying to work. Without my job I am not able to provide you happy…

Mom asked me if I took new pics this month. I have to say sorry, I didn’t go out this month. But I took two pics in home by myself. Hope she can see them and know piece of my life.  Exam, rest, basketball and shopping on Black month, and I were overtime for two saturday. So I have to say, the days were disappointing. It was fun to get out, I think I miss to go out to nature. Anyway, do not worry about me, mom. I can take good care of myself and live in sunshine always.

Mother’s day is coming…I remind that once upon a day, I were so excited that on the morning of my 12 birthday, i woke up, took a look at backyard and decided i would wait patiently for mom to wish me a happy day.but unfortunately for me, mom was still very busy with breakfast and seemed she forgot It was her daughter’s special day that time. i were not my happy self, but no one seemed to notice. it wasn't until mom and dad left for work. I almost cried out. but later, i still remembered that scene , after breakfast,mom and day asked me to go back my room and there was a big teddy bear on my bed! they had never forgotten anything special of me. several moments passed before i yelled "my teddy bear!” the scene would live on my heart until today. And when I were with my parents, I never remembered their birthday till I live myself in this city…This blog entry would pay homage to all mom and dad. Life turn me into the person I am today, I notice that my parents’ special day….

From the bottom of my heart, mom and dad, I love you.

Cuddle.

Big shout to all those concerned, Sarah, Rose, Wayne, Tyler etc and anyone else who attended the meeting.  What a brilliant afternoon that was.  What a finale!!  See you all on Monday. 

Always hope to be a flyer…

Thanks all who didn't misapprehend me beore i explain.

      So, still will make myself a better person and know who I am before I try and know someone else and expect them to know me.

 

     Ps:   last night  i were so impressed with superman.

It’s not the first time I run away. But it’s the first time i am so afraid…I think just coz the age.

I am going to miss... For this I left I think..  

For a moment I think I am tired to be OTAKU.

A friend of mine asked if I have been busy for the past week because she noticed that I were not online. No, I had not been that busy. Well, I have finished my study provisionally since last sunday  so now generally my free time is pretty manageable.
    The reason I was not online too long this week because my mind has been so peaceful and serene that thoughts are not coming nor going. It seems like the mind has reached a realm of quietness where it need not process any passing thoughts. It seems like it has attained a certain contentment within and hence settled.
    I am grateful to be where I am now. I would not say that the previous environment which I was in was tormenting. Though I always advice others to only change your perspective and not the environment, throwing away something did helped myself getting back on this path of mindfulness. So I guess I was wrong. I suppose the key is to just do what you truly believe is right. How I gauge that it was right for me is the fact that I had never been so relieved and freed after I made the decision; you have no second thoughts nor doubt.
    I am here now. It's amazing to notice how present the mind can be when nothing else occupies it. My friend asked whether the mind could really be functioning without the flow of thoughts. If the mind is in the "now", yes it can.
    What this means is if the mind is present, one is truly mindful of the body's actions at that very moment - the in breath, the out breath, which of the leg walked first, how is the body feeling when moving, etc. What you see is what you know. When the mind is that mindful (focused), there is no room for thoughts hence resulted in a so-called "empty mind". If you ever pay attention to your mind, you would notice that the mind can actually only focus on one thing at a time. If you think you are multi-tasking, it only meant that your mind has shifted from one focus to another.
    An "empty mind" is peaceful. Because there are no thoughts, hence there will be no analyzing of thoughts. When there is no analyzing, there will be no emotions. Being emotionless for various moments of the day helps enormously in conserving one's mental energy. And with more energy, thus comes the positive aura.
    This positive aura has helped me to level my mental emotions in several situations where I would expect myself to worry and become panicky. I was told of a certain bad news recently - a news which may result in long-term obligation. Instead of feeling upset and overwhelmed by the natural human emotions, I was able to "take myself out" of the scenario, and view it from an on-looker's perspective. This allows me to stay focused and calm; hence more able to help out with the problem.
    If you find yourself to be stuck in a negative environment, leave that environment. Because, whether you realise it or not, that negativity is eating you alive to a point where you thought that this negativity is just how it is, normal. And you would just waste half of your time complaining, sulking, being depressed etc; when you could have spent those times on more positive thoughts.
    This is a sharing of what an empty mind is from my personal experience. And how it has helped me in dealing with life's uncertain events. Embrace it, and you will see how beautiful having no thoughts could be.

I rest well and got enough sleep just coz my mind is blank.

It's like almost the end of the week again.as usual i'm thinking that time passes really quickly. screaming out loud won’t help but it make me feel better~

I don’t want to be afraid .I want to wake up ,and know that i'm okay

Sam disappeared!

So I have been surprised when I received the mail from his parents from JP. They checked his pc and find emails . and hope can get some information from everyone about sam’s whereabouts.

Why he will leave family? I worry about him badly.

I admit I have no male confidant in my daily social life.

Sam is , and hopefully always will be, an important person in my life. so he certainly deserves a post or more despite his absence from my daily social life. We have never become closer – maybe just coz we are not in same country.

Sam…If you are chinese… But alas, we are doomed to a relationship of pen pal, phone calls,  and maybe will never meet in life.

So, sam, it's been 4 years and I’m just grateful you still put up with me. We’ve been vacillated between friendship and romance, finaly just to keep things interesting. We are good friends no see.  I still remember standing on the street one night, when I found I have no cash with me after I came back from HK. you sing to me with salt boy at 11pm from hundreds of miles away. In my mind, you’ve remained the intelligent, passionate, adorably honest and caring.

Thank you for always telling me the truth, even when it’s not what I want to hear. Thank you for all the listening, singing, laughing and venting. And I’m sorry for your showing favor. I am not your sparky. Sure I hope the other life we’ll dance on the beach under the stars.

I do not know what happened, and will understand what you do. just hope you are safe and happy somewhere in this world.

Leave a word to me or your family pls…

      Although you may believe that someone or something has the key to your happiness, the truth is that you decide whether you lead a joyful life, Rabbi Shmuley says. Many Americans see happiness as a goal, something they want to pursue, but the more you pursue it, the unhappier you'll be, he says. "Happiness is not a goal; it's the natural byproduct of a purpose-driven life," Rabbi Shmuley says. "If you have a life full of purpose, you will feel content and feel good about yourself."

Rabbi Shmuley offers his advice on how to be happy without really trying.

l        Stop focusing on your happiness. Focus instead on whether your life is full, rewarding and meaningful, Rabbi Shmuley says.

l        Surround yourself with a structure of selflessness. Find joy in a life of service, he says. "Giving your love to people and focusing on others will naturally bring happiness into your life," he says. "Foster creativity, promote teamwork and mentor others—rewards and promotions will come along in due time."

l        Bring spirituality into your daily life. Try meditating, attending church or praying, Rabbi Shmuley says. Spirituality doesn't always have to do with religion, he says.

l        Spend more time "being" than "doing." "A great way to do this is spending time with your kids playing and goofing around and just enjoying spending time together," he says.

l        Laugh at yourself a little. "Try not to be critical of yourself, and celebrate your everyday successes," Rabbi Shmuley says.